There's been a lot of buzz regarding Indira Gandhi's legacy recently in connection with her 30th death anniversary and the congress party's dogged determination to portray her as a great leader in the face of overwhelming evidence that she was effectively a self serving, power hungry dictator who presided over the darkest hour in India's history. That being said, it led to a lot of contemplation and brushing up of my own ideals of what and where I wanted to see myself in life and how my own ideals and ambitions in life have changed over the last few years.
The thought of total world domination came to me during my late teens/early adulthood. I would frequently trot it out to people who would ask me of my ambition. The one ambition which was way above everybody else's ambition which was to be a successful CEO or be a good doctor etc. No, I had to have absolute control and was so convinced of the strength of my ideals and my convictions about my own incorruptibility that I thought it would genuinely be a good idea if I had control and moulded the world into my own version of Utopia. To be fair I wanted the same things that most people wish for in the world - an end to poverty, equal opportunities, no divisions based on religion, caste, colour etc. and everybody engaged in some creative pursuit towards the betterment of humanity.
As I grew older and slightly wiser with experience I started to realize that most people think or at least justify to themselves that what they do is for good - their own good comes first but there are enough people who worry about the greater good too. I will digress a bit and talk of selfishness here because.. well this is my blog and not an article for publishing and I might not come back to discussing about it separately later. I believe selfishness is innate and irremovable in humans and is essential for our survival as a species. Selfishness when put to work smartly contributes towards social harmony and is the basis of forming groups and unions and societies. Collective bargaining power just like hunting in a pack and sharing the spoils almost always works better than being completely selfish and anti-social which is self defeating. So it's OK to be selfish to the extent where your needs are being met and your environment can cope with it. When you go overboard, nature itself will work eject you.
Coming back, let's talk about the leaders - the people who rise up to impose their convictions upon the rest of their groups, who by popular mandate is accepted as the strongest individual of the herd. I often see myself as someone who could bring about real change in the lives of people. When I was younger I thought having the largest amount of money could make me hold that position but as I realize now, money in itself will not get you power although it is a great enabler. Power comes from the strength of your inner convictions but the same power and convictions could be the reason why you could end up being toxic rather than helpful towards the betterment of your fellow beings.
I will hold up Indira Gandhi, PolPot, Mao and Hitler to make my point. Each of them had strong convictions that what they did was right and that was the only way to go about things. The power they held made them vindictive and tempestuous. On the one hand you see an Indira Gandhi who is this fragile, well spoken lover of the nature and arts and on the other hand a dictator who could not handle criticism of any kind and would go to any lengths to quell dissent using the power in her hands. Mao genuinely believed that the revolution he was ushering in was the only way to make China of his dreams notwithstanding the death of millions and the total wipe out of a thousand year old civilization. Their own convictions betrayed them.
I am wary of power for the same reasons. What if my ideals and the strength of my convictions are wrong for the world? Would I be able to accept criticism and how will I handle my enemies and competitors? In spite of my calm demeanor in most situations, sometimes the anger and the spirit of vengeance inside of me for an injustice or a slight -imagined or real - surprises me. How can I be sure that some day if or when I do wield real power, the power to make lasting impact on people's lives, I would be just and open to valid criticism. How easy would it be for me and my personal convictions to be wrong and yet be blind and maybe unwilling to do what is actually the right thing? Would I still do the same amount of soul searching when I actually have power?
I wanted Narendra Modi to win because the alternative was a set of bumbling fools. Rather, there was no alternative at all. I don't/can't hold any culpability to any communal riot against him unless a court convicts him and he has not put a foot wrong yet in so may months of leadership and yet I am wary. I am wary of the fact that there is no other voice, that there is no alternative in sight. The Congress does not have a leader worth his /her salt and No, the answer to Rahul Gandhi is not Priyanka Gandhi nor her kids. The Congress is down and out until they find a real mass leader who can lend a credible voice of opposition. The AAP has fallen to the personality cult even before it attained the critical mass to sustain a personality cult and has imploded with no sign of revival. The BJP itself does not have a voice which can stand upto Modi if he loses his way. That is my worry. This is the right set of ingredients for a dictator to be born and one could not just blame Modi if things go wrong. He has to be almost inhuman and sage like to have so much power without any opposition and not feel like what he feels is the gospel truth. Here's hoping that he has the strength of character and enough time for reflecting on his own set of beliefs and whether what he feels is actually what is good for India as a country and as an idea.
To summarize, I guess the great qualities that a good leader should have are the courage to question himself/herself and one's actions and to keep an internal as well as external dialogue always open. We all have a duty to keep our eyes open in ensuring that we don't let go of the idea of a truly secular, democratic and pluralistic India and keeping the dialogue alive while we enjoy the fruits of the "Achche din".
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